Whether you are an ED working with your first board, which consists mostly of family and close friends, or a new board member with an established organization, board and Executive Director relationships are essential.
When the Executive Director-Board Chair relationship works, it’s like master weavers creating a tapestry—individual threads harmoniously interlaced, complementary colors enhancing each pattern, and a shared vision of the final masterpiece. When it doesn’t, it’s more like two painters working on the same canvas but facing away from each other, each applying their own colors without coordination. (I’m more of an art person than sports.)
Having been on both sides of this critical partnership, I can tell you that this relationship impacts more than just the two individuals involved—it sets the tone for the entire organization.
Why this relationship makes or breaks your nonprofit
The ED-Chair partnership influences:
- Staff morale and retention
- Board engagement and effectiveness
- Organizational stability during transitions
- Fundraising success
- Strategic plan implementation
One ED I worked with described her relationship with her board chair as “the most important professional relationship in my career.” Another called it “the thing that helped me sleep at night during our financial crisis.”
My own experience has shown me that a successful relationship can assist the ED in ways that aren’t always explained in leadership books. I have had board chairs who provided support during challenging staffing issues, reached out to donors, and advocated for the organization at public functions where I could not attend.
Communication frameworks that actually work
The sacred weekly check-in
Commit to a standing 30-minute call or meeting that happens regardless of what else is going on. Protect this time fiercely. Use it for:
- Emerging issues that need four-eyes review
- Strategic questions (not operational updates)
- Personal check-ins on workload and stress
- Previewing upcoming board materials or difficult conversations
The “no surprises” pact
Make an explicit agreement that neither of you will surprise the other with:
- New initiatives or major pivots
- Concerns about performance
- Significant staff or board issues
- Personal plans to transition out of your role
The communication preferences inventory
Take time to discuss explicitly:
- Preferred communication channels for different types of issues
- Response time expectations for both of you
- Decision-making styles (process-oriented vs. quick decider)
- How you each handle conflict
- How you prefer to receive feedback
Healthy boundaries for a sustainable partnership
Boundaries are not just about keeping things at bay, they are also for understanding where are roles stop and start. Having clear boundaries prevents burnout and role confusion:
For Executive Directors:
- Don’t use the Chair as your therapist or daily operational sounding board
- Resist pulling the Chair into staff management issues
- Don’t bypass the Chair when you disagree with board decisions
- Respect the Chair’s volunteer status and time constraints
For Board Chairs:
- Don’t circumvent the ED by directing staff
- Don’t represent the organization publicly without ED coordination
- Don’t use your position to advance personal priorities
- Remember your role is governance, not management
Conflict resolution that strengthens rather than damages
Conflict in this relationship is inevitable. Differences in understanding, experience, or even timing can cause some issues. What matters is how you handle it:
- Start with shared purpose: Begin difficult conversations by reaffirming your shared commitment to the mission
- Use “I” statements: “I feel concerned when…” rather than “You always…”
- Name the pattern, not the person: “Our communication breaks down when decisions are rushed” vs. “You make hasty decisions”
- Set a timeline for resolution: Don’t let tensions simmer indefinitely
The relationship between a Board Chair and the ED is important and should not be taken for granted. A positive relationship can make the organization’s success path much easier and clearer.
Action steps for strengthening this critical partnership:
- Schedule a relationship retreat – Take 2-3 hours away from the office to discuss your working styles, expectations, and communication preferences.
- Create a shared document outlining decision rights (who decides what and when) for common scenarios.
- Establish a feedback mechanism with quarterly check-ins on how the partnership is working.
- Develop a contingency plan for handling disagreements before they arise.
- Find mentor pairs – Connect with an ED-Chair pair from another organization who can provide perspective.
Remember, this relationship requires intentional cultivation. The strongest ED-Chair partnerships aren’t accidental—they’re built through clear communication, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to the mission above individual egos.
What’s been your biggest challenge or success in the ED-Chair relationship? Share your experience below!
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